Know Her Stories

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. September 2016. Katarina Roxon emerges and walks towards the edge of the pool at the Rio Olympic Aquatics Stadium. You can barely see her face – her hood is up, swim goggles securely over her eyes – but she radiates cool and calm as she gives the crowd a wave. She unzips her long jacket and sheds the layers of clothing keeping her muscles warm, flashing the camera a big smile. A moment of total silence, and then the horn – eight women surge into the pool, impossibly fast and graceful, driven by strength, preparation, and hunger for the podium. The women’s SB8 100-metre breaststroke at the 2016 Summer Paralympics is underway. The road to Rio started in Kippens-Stephenville, a small community on the west coast of Newfoundland. “My parents thought swimming was a good life skill for me and my sister to have,” says Roxon. “At first, I absolutely hated the water. Not a fan. But over time it got to a point where they couldn’t get me out.” Roxon and her sister later joined the swim team: “It wasn’t just a team, it was a family. Everything started from there.” Her connection to Newfoundland and Labrador runs deep. She speaks proudly of her hometown as the place that accepted her wholly and pushed her past her limits to great success. “It’s a small town, so everyone grew up with me and knew who I was. They didn’t see me as the girl with one arm, they just saw me as me.” Roxon was born with her left arm missing below her elbow. “People often ask me how it feels to have one arm – well, how does it feel to have two arms?!” she says laughing. “It’s normal, just the way it is.” Although she felt comfortable in her community, “I was shy with my arm growing up,” she remembers. “I did get bullied a little bit. If I wasn’t wearing my prosthetic, I’d cover my arm up. But I always had an amazing family and great friends by my side, so I got out of that habit.” Early in her swimming career, leaving her home and support system to travel for tournaments was difficult, but her love of competing kept her motivated. “I’ve always been very determined. My mom called me pretty stubborn,” she laughs. “I sat on our porch for hours until I learned how to tie my shoelaces. I like to do things by myself – for Para athletes, we’re often dependent on someone or something, so we like that feeling of independence. And I like to prove people wrong. I think I get that from my dad. When someone says he can’t do something it’s like, ‘OK, just watch me.’” Roxon’s father eventually became her swim coach. “He’s the kind of person that likes to push people to be the best that they are,” she says. Roxon appreciates having someone to keep her on target: “There are days I don’t want to swim, like everybody else. But he sees the bigger picture, he knows where we’re going and what I need to achieve in order to get to the next step. He and my mom always told me I could do anything I wanted to do.” At 15 years old, Roxon competed in her first Paralympics in Beijing as the youngest Canadian swimmer on the team. She loved the atmosphere, the people, the pool, and her first experience in the athletes’ village: “Everyone was from different countries for different sports, but they were all there to win a medal at the games and be the best that they could be. It was inspiring to see all these Para athletes get in the water and swim their hearts out.” After placing 12th at the games, she revamped her training, making it more challenging to prepare for London 2012. “I definitely put more pressure on myself to perform well. I wanted to get on the podium so bad.” In London, she placed 5th: “For me, it was a disappointment. I knew that I had a lot more in me.” Back to the drawing board. It was a shift both physically and mentally – reflecting on London, Roxon recognizes the amount of pressure she put on herself didn’t serve her well. She learned to let go a little and enjoy herself more: “Everything started falling into place,” she says. “How I was feeling, how I was moving through the water.” In 2015, she collected six medals at the Parapan American Games in Toronto. “Having the home crowd and my family there was so exciting. I knew that I was on the right track.” Which brings us to Rio. Before the 100-metre breaststroke, she remembers feeling unusually calm. As she climbed up onto her block, “I looked over the pool and said to myself, ‘God, take care of my giants for me.’ For me, my giants weren’t my competitors, my giant was the pool. I had to conquer this 100 metres. That set the tone for me.” Diving in, she only thought of swimming – what her arms were going to do, what her legs were going to do, the position of her head. She kept her eyes closed, so she wasn’t aware of where her competitors were in relation to her. “I went for it and I knew I had to leave everything in the pool,” she says. In the final stretch of the race, Roxon jets forward. “As I was coming in, I opened my eyes, took 2 strokes, and touched the wall. It was the perfect, perfect finish. I thought, ‘I’ll take whatever the result is and I’ll be happy with that.’” She takes a beat to catch her breath and search for her time on the board, at first not quite registering the “1” next to her name. Then, suddenly, her face crumples into tears. She clinched the gold medal. “It was very emotional for me, it felt like a weight off my shoulders. I’ve never swum any race as close to perfect as that. And I was so happy for the other girls who medaled and how well they did.” Like Ellen Keane of Ireland, who received the bronze and met Roxon at the rope between their lanes for a long hug and happy-cry, the two women realizing they achieved their dream. “When I watch the race back, I can feel every single stroke,” she says. “I still have to hold my breath a little.” When Roxon finally got to the podium, she told herself she wouldn’t cry – but as soon as the national anthem began to play, she broke down. “This medal wasn’t just for me, it was for all the people who helped me get there,” she says. “My family, my friends, my teammates, my community. This one was coming back to Newfoundland and Labrador.” Roxon was met with the love and support of the entire country coming home to Canada. “It’s such a high, a roller coaster year,” says Roxon. She admits settling back into everyday life after Rio was “a little tough, mentally, physically,” but her eye is always on the prize. “Tokyo is my goal – to get there, to podium again,” she says, speaking of the 2020 Summer Paralympics in Tokyo. “I’m going to give it my all. The training will be intense for the next year and a half, but it’ll definitely be worth it.” She’s on the right track – last year, she won a gold, a silver, and a bronze medal at the 2018 Pan Pacific Para Swimming Championships in Cairns, Australia. Throughout her life, Roxon has learned that true empowerment comes from within. “You need to love and accept yourself first if you want other people to be accepting of you,” she says. She uses her platform to motivate and inspire others, serving on the Provincial Council for Persons with Disabilities and as a representative for The War Amps of Canada, advocating for the power of sport, perseverance, and having big goals. Roxon’s mantra: “There’s always a way.” She conquers giants by owning and learning from her past and never giving up or settling for anything less than her full potential. “I’m living proof that it doesn’t matter where you grew up and what you do or don’t have,” says Roxon. “Anything is possible if you have determination, a support system, and dream really big.” Writing: Stephanie Chipperfield

Carla Mann had given up before her love, Chris, entered her life. In her words, this is her story of loss, love and life. Where does one begin? My life has been a bit of a “sorted affair.” A lot of loss, turmoil and just bad luck. At the age of 40, I had moved from my beloved home in High River after losing everything due to the flood in 2013. I returned to my hometown to kind of seek refuge. I’m not going to lie I had given up. I was 40, my young son 9. I had never been married, never been financially secure and I truly thought my life was over. Moving “home” was a really bad decision. There is a saying, “you can never go home again”. This in my experience is so very true. In September 2014 I reconnected with an old high school acquaintance through FaceBook. He joined because he had just become a grandfather and he wanted to follow his daughter and new grandson on social media. We became online friends and in a very short period of time, we both realized something magical was happening. By January 2015 we decided to re-introduce ourselves to one another. We hadn’t seen each other since our graduation in 1991. He arrived at my door in our hometown on January 18th, with roses in hand. He kissed me and my life changed forever. Our love grew so fast. We lived five hours apart and Chris working in coil tubing in the oilfield, spent many days away at a time. It became all part of our story. Before our second date, Chris professed his love for me and I for him. On that second date, Chris bought me a beautiful limited edition H&B necklace that I cherish. Our third date was Vegas and from there our love and devotion to each other became undeniable. We both had never been so happy. Chris had lived a sorted past as well. Struggling through life with loss, career choices, staying in a toxic relationship for nearly a decade and struggling with life’s demons. He had turned his life around a few years before we met again but told me I was all he needed. I was his drug and that what we had found and were building was better than any drug on the planet. Chris and I spent all our downtime together whether I drove to him or he came to me. He stayed the entire month of breakup with us. During that month he gifted me with many beautiful H&B pieces. Little tokens of love that I will treasure for my lifetime. My son and I moved to be with Chris before summer arrived and it remains the “first” best decision I ever made because there were many to come! “We found this magical, beautiful love.” Fast forwarding through our beautiful big love Chris and I got engaged June 3, 2017. It was an unorthodox engagement but it was perfect and we both believed all our dreams were coming true. We found this magical beautiful love where we were crazy about each other and one that was reciprocated to each other in every way. We were building a life and we were happy. Insanely truly 100% happy. Our wedding date was set February 17, 2018. Zota Beach Resort, Longboat Key Florida. We were thrilled!! Planning our big day was a labour of love. Every moment was planned right down to the tiniest detail. It was a blush and rose gold affair. My bridesmaids wearing sequined dresses and matching H&B Sparkle Balls™ that were perfect. Right down to the most insignificant flower or the colour of the napkins we were ready. We were so ready that we even discussed popping down to City Hall and getting hitched before we left for Florida. Chris saying “no one ever has to know, I just want to be married”. We should have done that, just Chris and I. Saying our vows to each other. No guests no onlookers, just us promising ourselves to each other until death do us part. But we only had one hitch to go and then we were off to Florida so we decided to wait. “We should have done that, just Chris and I. Saying our vows to each other.” Chris left for his last hitch before our wedding January 26th at 5 am, we had said our goodbyes the night before and talked about our excitement. That time home was a little stressful for both of us. Just with planning the wedding, getting payments to the vendors. It wasn’t our typical “love fest” while he was back. That Friday that he left I was driving to work and I said out loud to myself “did I love him enough these days off?” “Did I show him how in love I am with him?” I vowed right there I’d never let stress get in the way of our affection for each other again. I convinced myself that it was just what happens when you plan a wedding. I promised that moment was going to be the last time I ever had to ask myself those questions. We spoke on the phone later that night. Chris was exhausted after a long day. We ended our short conversation with our I love you’s and our excitement for his next days off and our wedding. We felt we had put everything back in our order of just loving each other with no boundaries. We were just so excited. Saturday morning, January 27th, 2018, I spent cleaning, doing laundry and packing our suitcases. When I looked at my phone when I finally sat to have a coffee it was shortly after 2pm, or 3pm in Saskatchewan where Chris was working. I felt a pang of guilt because I always messaged him as soon as I woke up. I quickly messaged him with our pet name for each other followed with hearts and kisses. Chris and I were always in constant contact. Whether it was through texting or phoning we were always in conversation. But he didn’t message back. I sent a second text saying all I had done that morning and the calls made that were finalizing the wedding details. But still nothing. “Chris and I were always in constant contact. Whether it was through texting or phoning we were always in conversation. But he didn’t message back.” Shortly after 4pm my doorbell rang. An officer stood at my door. It took him a while to tell me why he was there. I was very confused. He explained that there had been an incident, cardiac arrest and that Chris was not revived. He had passed away at approximately 3:15 pm Saskatchewan time almost exactly when I sent my messages. My entire world was shattered my heart broken into a million pieces. I never felt such complete loneliness and devastation in my life. My beautiful precious Chris was gone and I never even spoke to him that day. The days that came are a blur. I went from planning the perfect wedding to my beloved’s funeral in a matter of hours. I was so scared, so filled with fear and sadness. I spent all the time could with Chris when he arrived home. Just holding him, talking to him, playing our music and kissing him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, walking into a room where the man I love was so lifeless. I fell to my knees and screamed because a small part of me thought they were wrong and when the doors opened it wouldn’t be him. But it was Chris, my love, and I didn’t want him to be alone or scared so I just stayed. I found a way to get my hands under his so it felt like he was holding on so tight. I pulled up a chair and laid my head beside his. I touch every smile line and freckle. I laid as close as I could for as long as I could and no one questioned me or asked me to leave, they just let me be. I did that for days. The celebration for Chris was planned in the evening with my closest friends and family. They pulled everything together for us during the day. Chris’s daughter arrived which gave me strength and together we decided we would both offer separate eulogies. As Havyn said, we together were the two halves to his heart. She the first, I his last… “Almost five hundred people showed up on February 3, 2018 to pay their respects to my precious fiancé. Exactly two weeks to the day that we had planned our wedding.” Almost five hundred people showed up on February 3, 2018 to pay their respects to my precious fiancé. Exactly two weeks to the day that we had planned our wedding. I wanted this day to show people how I love Chris, how Havyn loves her daddy. I wanted them to feel the kind of connection we shared. This day was planned at an events Centre instead of a church. Something that really meant something to Chris. It was grand and it was beautiful. From the music to the flowers I truly believe we planned a moment in time that Chris would have been blown away by. I said my eulogy, and in it I said my vows in hopes that Chris heard me devoting my life to him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I did it. Ending with words we said endlessly to each other “I Love You More Chris.” I flew to Florida a few days later. I went to our beach and I married him officially. I carried a small urn heart in my hand, filled with his ashes. I never invited anyone but when I arrived at the bridge that took me to our spot, family members were waiting for me. I had given my bridesmaids the Sparkle Balls™ Chris had picked out for them all. They sparkled in the setting sun. I walked to the water. I said my personal vows and then adding our wedding I Do’s. Then I went into the ocean and held Chris’s small urn in the water. God he talked about going in the ocean every day… I never let go. Then like magic the sunset turned blue and orange and there’s was one little star that stood out under a crooked moon smile. It was undeniable, my Husband was there. My days now are quiet. The silence somedays deafening. I am very busy honoring my love. I am starting a foundation in his name to help kids through hockey. This year in April I will be handing out 5 awards for the Chris Mann Memorial, this will take place in our hometown. I have gone back to work where by no surprise or accident I sell H&B. I am passionate about his brand and the empowerment of women behind it. I wear the numerous pieces that Chris bought me everyday. I am thankful for every single one as I truly feel close to him when I remember the excitement when they were received and the love that came with every piece. I am so so thankful for that. “I have legally changed my last name to Mann and I will carry forward being Chris’s wife. I plan on being the best of the best.” I have legally changed my last name to Mann and I will carry forward being Chris’s wife. I plan on being the best of the best. Life is very scary right now, the hurt is still so fresh and my heart is so broken. But I am empowered by the strong support of people around me and I have to be strong to do all the things I’ve planned for the man of my dreams. Chris is my sparkle. The love of my life, my husband.

In Canada, and particularly in Saskatchewan, agriculture is an important industry and a way of life for many. And although most farms involve the entire family, farming is a male-dominated career with fewer female farmers running equipment, working day-to-day in the field on the farm operations. For Lexie Adamson, however, becoming a farmer was always a certainty. Since early childhood, Adamson wanted a life in Agriculture. “My whole life, I was going to farm. That’s never changed, not once.” Growing up on her family farm near Harris, SK, cemented her resolve. Her Dad and Uncle, both very progressive farmers, were early adopters of new crops, farm technology and techniques and made sure to immerse Adamson in every aspect of the farm from a young age—she ran equipment, went to board meetings for local Ag Organizations and tagged along to farm trade shows. Adamson met her husband, Kyle, while attending Lakeland College in Vermillion. After graduating, Adamson moved to Kindersley, SK where his business was located, but stuck to her commitment to a future as a farmer. While her husband ran a business in Kindersley, Adamson worked with determination to move forward in her farming career, commuting over an hour to the farm in addition to taking an off-farm job. These days, Adamson runs the farm with her brother and her dad still helps out. This year, they seeded 6500 acres. Adamson had to let go of her off-farm job to devote as much time as she could to her own farming operation. “I was starting to have breakdowns. I don’t regret it— it was a great run and the value that it’s brought to our farm [through knowledge gained] is unreal. Farming is a business; it has to be treated [as such]. And it’s so stressful trying to pick the right markets, making sure everything’s out for loans, making sure everything’s balanced. Your bills are endless.” “There are definitely perks to farming—running your own business, being self-employed—but I wish people understood what actually happens and how that food gets to your plate.” I ask if there are things she wishes people knew about farming and she is quick to dispel the social media myth of farmers sitting in an air-conditioned cab all day using GPS with their feet up. “Number one, there is no paycheque. Number two, what it actually costs to run a farm. People think, ‘oh, they have million-dollar equipment, they must be loaded’… what?! Do you think we walk in there with a wad of cash, and say, ‘here you go’? It’s a spreadsheet, a cost per acre of what you’re going to have to make to cover this stuff. And what a bag of canola costs, to what we can sell it for. There are definitely perks to farming, running your own business, being self-employed, but I wish people understood what actually happens and how that food gets to your plate, not just the pictures on social media. We’re never going to post on social media that we’re having a meltdown because we just opened a bin and it’s all rotten.”  The Adamsons have two children, a five-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son. Running two businesses while raising two kids comes with its fair share of challenges. During the growing season, she’s away from the kids for extended periods. “Harvest was really hard last year. Those six weeks, I barely saw the kids.” She also feels guilty when she has to leave the farm while her brother and dad are still working. “I’m a mom first, and I always will be. I never knew that kids would touch me this much, but they have to be happy. Can I hop off the combine to go watch something at school? No, but I can make that up to them in a different capacity. My kids and my marriage have to be happy.” “I’m a mom first, and I always will be. I never knew that kids would touch me this much, but they have to be happy.” When I ask Adamson about attitudes toward women working in Agriculture, her outlook is positive. “It’s come a long way. I have some awesome mentors, my mom being one of them.” That said, she has experienced pushback as a woman working in Agriculture. “My first job, [as an Agronomist] I was pregnant, and men were not very nice or understanding of that.” Working as a grain buyer, she had to work very hard to earn respect from farmers. Now that she’s farming full time, she finds it frustrating that sales reps automatically assume that she isn’t the decision-maker on the farm and head straight for her brother or dad when they arrive for sales calls. And when Adamson is asked what she does for a living and responds that she’s a farmer, she gets some sceptical looks and has received comments on her marriage that she and Kyle are a ‘backwards couple’. “It used to bother the heck out of me, but then I realized, what am I trying to prove? I’m using so much stress against that, and who cares? My kids are happy, we’re happy, we’re where we want to be. I sit on some awesome boards, I have a huge group of people who I look up to, and they’re [the ones] who matter.” “It used to bother the heck out of me, but then I realized, what am I trying to prove? I’m using so much stress against that, and who cares?” Along the way, Adamson has experienced moments of empowerment. During her off-farm work, she put the time and effort in to achieve a high quality of work. “When you start noticing that the farmers respect you, there’s nothing better.” One day on her own farm, a group of male sales reps stopped by with a meal in the field. Adamson, the last to arrive, had been driving a semi, hauling grain. She smiled at the surprised expressions as she climbed down from the cab to join them. “If more women can be empowered to do what I’m doing, things will be a lot more equal. It won’t be weird to see a female in the field running an air drill. Going to farm shows, there will be just as many women there as men—and not just running the booths, but walking the floor as farmers!” “It won’t be weird to see a female in the field running an air drill. Going to farm shows, there will be just as many women there as men—and not just running the booths, but walking the floor as farmers!” Adamson refuses to let judgement or cultural pressure to get in the way of building a life that fulfils her heart and soul. Sticking to her strong values of family, equality, and community, she leads the way as a fourth-generation farmer while remaining a devoted mom and wife. Writing: Stacy McIntosh Images: Supplied

The executive director and co-founder of Regina's North Central Family Centre improves lives with hard work, compassion, and love of her community. As you walk into the North Central Family Centre in Regina, the sense of community pride is striking. The well-manicured yard, colourful play structure and bright front façade make the building shine like a precious gemstone; however, upon entering the doors, it’s soon apparent that it’s the individuals and volunteers inside who make the organization truly shine. And one individual in particular is the true crown jewel of the centre—Sandy Wankel. Wankel, the executive director and co-founder of the North Central Family Centre, selflessly and humbly attributes the success of the community organization to everyone involved—including volunteers, parents, sponsors, staff and others. It’s abundantly clear though, when talking to Wankel, that this sanctuary exists because of her hard work, compassion, kindness and love of the community. The North Central Family Centre focuses on the children of the community, but works with entire families. It offers wrap-around programs—such as employment classes, cooking seminars, community outreach, and cultural programs—that engage everyone ages six through 80. The community of North Central Regina has faced many struggles, so the North Central Family Centre’s goal is to create and maintain positivity, empowerment and purpose throughout the entire community, and particularly for those most vulnerable—the youth. “One thing that makes us unique is that we’ve created an environment and brought in the community, so we’re a part of the community. I’ve always wondered about people when it’s top down—you can’t really tell people how to act, but you can show them. You have to help, you have to empower people, but the bottom-line is you just have to accept them, and work from there. And I think that’s what we’ve created here.” Wankel’s primary focus throughout her work is giving all of the members of the North Central Family Centre—and particularly the young women—a feeling of ownership in their lives, their homes, their communities and even in the world. “Our kids have had barriers and hardships in life, and we’re trying to get them to overcome. But you do that also by giving them a sense of [empowerment],” she says with a warm smile. “We always say to our kids here: ‘We want you in the parade. We don’t want you watching the parade. We’re part of a global world—you’re part of Regina, you’re part of Saskatchewan, you’re part of a world, and you have a voice to make a difference.’” Wankel’s encouragement and positive messaging to the youth of the North Central Family Centre has shifted how these beautiful people speak and think of themselves, and has nurtured the organization for 10 years. With Wankel’s leadership, this organization will continue to flourish. Sitting in Wankel’s cozy office with inspirational messages, handmade art, and photos brightening the walls, it’s easy to tell that this woman is well loved and has loved well. Being a co-founder of such a pivotal community organization, seeking funding, asking for support and for people to care, are not easy tasks, and to do so with charisma and constant positive energy is even more difficult. Her courageous work and inspiring words paint a beautiful picture of a strong, empowered woman who celebrates vulnerability and embraces challenge: “I’m hearing impaired—I read lips. It’s been very challenging for me over the years. I do a lot of things scared. When I have to go talk, and I’m not sure if I’m going to hear the questions correctly, and I [still] do it. I do it because I had someone who gave me the strength to do that, and I want our youth to see that being scared is OK because it pushes them to be stronger. I want to be that person for them. We can give girls the strength to [work through challenges that] come in their way, and that’s why agencies like ours are here.” What stands out the most while speaking with Wankel is that no matter the hardships she faces with running a not-for-profit organization, she is constantly inspiring and building up others. “[The most rewarding thing we can do in life] is to watch a young girl that couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror, see herself in a different light, and start growing and evolving,” she says. Her biggest piece of advice for the young women she works with: “Don’t let anyone else define you. You define yourself and what you want in life. It doesn’t matter what’s behind you or what circumstances you come from, it’s all where you’re going. I want our girls to see themselves how they want to be. And to realize that, all these little things, it’ll pass someday. All these little insurmountable hurts, like any bullying or anything, this is a little part of their life right now. It will get better. And they will excel. And they will do well.” Wankel’s inspiring and challenging messages are for not only the youth of the North Central Family Centre, but for every woman—sage advice we can all incorporate into our lives. As we wrapped up our conversation, we chatted about purpose in life. Years ago, as a young mom living in a small town searching for her purpose, Wankel asked herself what would be put on her tombstone. “That I was nice?” She laughs. “You know I really hope I make a difference in life. And I’ve been given this opportunity to do it. It’s been an incredible journey, and it’s never me alone.” It is clear that Wankel is very much making a difference in many lives, and will continue to attribute her success to all of the other individuals involved. Wankel is truly extraordinary—she knows it takes a village to raise a child and she has created that healing, empowering village in North Central Family Centre. Moved by Wankel and the community she has brought together in the heart of Regina, we hosted a pancake breakfast for girls from the North Central Family Centre. The girls made two bracelets each—one to keep and one to be sold by Hillberg & Berk, with 100% of the proceeds going to the North Central Family Centre. In the end, the girls raised a total of $4,000 for the North Central Family Centre with the Sandy Bracelet; named, of course, after its inspirational namesake.